How To Solve the Facebook Mobile Problem…an experience in truly biting sarcasm

I was preparing to pour forth my bile RE:FB, but MIT and Michael Wolff beat me to it:

The Facebook Fallacy – Technology Review.

The problem, as we discussed in the MCDM Mobile Class was very simply this:

Engineered for maximum distraction

My sleep-deprived low-blood-sugar fueled rant about how much I ****ing hate FaceBook aside, the problem of FB mobile ad delivery has actually kept me up nights recently. And I have come to a conclusion. There IS a solution to the FB ad problem. Short Selling.

The idea that a business should be an institution built over a lifetime, to be handed down generation to generation as the pride of a family–or series of monarch-like CEOs and majority shareholders is an ancient and outdated one. Now we see that companies have life-cycles. Sometimes that lifetime is longer than any human can hope for. But this is really only the case with companies with products that never grow old. For example,  Beretta, the 500 year old Italian firm,  remains an excellent investment. This is because of customer “Lock-in.” People have a significant fear of buying the proverbial  “two-dollar pistol.” If it jams, misfires or “suffers a catastrophic breach failure.” You could die, and “If you die, you’ve lost a significant part of your life.*” The US military sidearm contract doesn’t hurt either†.

FaceBook doesn’t have these advantages. All they have is a lot of people using their service, right now, at this particular moment. Now, it turns out that these people are increasingly FBing using mobile devices, not only because they feel the need to constantly interact through FB’s interface, but because by doing so, they see less advertising. This is a problem, because ads are the only significant profit center FB has, and as Mark himself said (at least in the movie, which means he probably didn’t but what the hell, it’s a nice quote): “Right now, it’s cool. So people use it. If you put ads on it, it won’t be cool.”

Facebook has been around for eight  years now. In that time, the two most innovative things they have given us have been a huge number of games developed by Zynga, which don’t make much money for FB, and worse, I personally find horribly annoying (your milage may vary). And the timeline interface, which everyone seems to hate. Thus, unless there is a secret project three weeks from fruition deep in the bowels (the bowels, I say!) of FaceBook Labs, what Facebook should do is simple:

Stage One: Close the API.

Allow other apps to post to FaceBook, but only allow the official FB app to display any of them. Make sure that the official native app ships with every phone ever, everywhere. If Apple blocks this, then PAY people to download and use the thing. Give them a free drink at Starbucks. Three free songs from the iTunes store. A $5 amazon gift card. Whatever it takes.

Then stage two: Shortsell

Suddenly, overnight, with no warning whatsoever, every other entry in the mobile timeline is an ad. Ads that look indistinguishable from content coming from one of the thousand friends whose name you cannot remember. A massive stream of marketing copy battering the retinas of the world’s impulse consumers. FB profits/expenditure for that quarter look absolutely amazing. Ad rates also soar, the money pours in. Huge success!

Stage Three: Gathering the windfalls

The second quarter is when you should start selling your FB stock, it’s now probably jumped up, possibly as much as it’s initial valuation. Facebook itself starts a SuperPac with the ready money sloshing around, legally spending a billion or two to buy themselves a favorable outcome in the inevitable Securities and Exchange Commission investigation two or three years from now. The owners of FaceBook, Inc pay themselves a massive dividend, sell and short their stock, and generally leave FaceBook a gutted mess, holding nothing but debt. As a Limited Liability corporation, it can rid itself of this debt by dissolving itself. The profits, meanwhile are safely in Swiss, Liechtensteinian and Aruban bank accounts belonging to the erstwhile social network’s principles. The service itself joins the junk heap of history, playing virtual hearts (TM) on a PDP-8‡ somewhere in cyber-heaven.

Stage Four: Rinse and repeat

Facebook’s fall leaves a billion people with nothing to do, and hungry for entertainment. Fortunately, a group of scrappy tech-sector job-creators have some money (tucked in an Aruban sock drawer from an old venture nobody remembers) and comes up with another service that fills this need. After all, there’s a great deal of data center equipment going for fire sale prices, and hundreds of unemployed engineers, marketers, and designers who will work cheap now that Facebook is out of business…..

*Brook Shields might not have said this about cigarette smoking either. People are misquoted so often, don’t you think?

†All of which are manufactured by Beretta of USA. Why do I know all this? I grew up in the sticks and read Guns & Ammo™ in the church bathroom while skipping Sabbath-School. I’m much better now, thanks. Eating bacon helps.

‡ This is a snarky dig at the movie Swordfish

The Shadow out of Entomology

People name things for all sorts of reasons, but usually some species of love or respect. The state of Virginia was named for for Elizabeth the first, the “Virgin Queen.” The Antarctic Mountain of Erebus was named after the ship of its discoverer, which in turn carried the name of the Greek primordial being who would father the personifications of sleep (Hypnos) and death (Thanatos) among other, lessor known works.  Perhaps for similar reasons, M.L. Buffington felt it appropriate to name his recently discovered species of wasp after a fictional monstrous god.

Behold:   Nanocthulhu lovecrafti !

Don’t worry… the the Entomologist is from Washington, but the wasp is from South Aftrica

While the face above might be one that only an entomologist could love, it carries a name that an etymologist cannot help to be enthralled by.

Apparently Buffington decided on the naming because: “H.P. Lovecraft’s weird fiction story The Call of Cthulhu (Lovecraft 1928). Cthulhu’s is described as having ‘a pulpy, tentacled head,’ and the clypeal fuscina described herein is reminiscent of Cthulhu’s head” or at least that’s what Simon van Noort wrote on his WaspWeb.org entry.

Personally, I don’t see it. Do you?

Lovecraft’s sketch of Cthulhu Thanks to the HPPodcraft guys for the link!

My Little QR Code: Friendship is Magic

My Little QR Code

Apologies for the bad angle.  Here have a look at the bit we are interested in:

My little bit bigger QR code

The great thing about this is that it worked. It actually got me to pull out my phone and scan the QR code, even though I am not now–nor have I ever been–interested in my little ponies. Better yet, the QR code worked, first time, right out of the gate. Big fat kudos to their chalk artist: they have serious skills!

And then:

It could be worse. Can’t really call it a mobile site, but… “it’s so simple it just might work!” But hey, who am I to judge: it did the job… If I was a MLP fan, I would be on their Facebook page right now. If.

One of the weirder chalk campaigns I’ve seen on campus, but I am impressed: dedication and skill can do what normally would be impossible even for money and friends in the right places.

Friendship Really Is Magic.

Overdrive The Mobile App Review

Overdrive: library materials, where ever.

I read a lot, but not at home anymore.  I read books on my phone while waiting for the bus, then switch over to a podcast or an audiobook for the actual bus ride–it keeps my eyes from jangling out my head. Over the last few months I’ve read five books and listened to another, and I haven’t spent a dime. I also haven’t transgressed against the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. I was able to get all that great stuff from the Seattle Public Library, all for free and all on my iPhone.

This is all possible because the Seattle Public Library (SPL) subscribes to a service by the Overdrive company. Overdrive, in turn, does all the negotiation of IP, maintains the databases, Digital Rights Management (DRM) and other systems that allow the individual audiobook or ebook to get to my phone when the #30 is running another 15 minutes late.

The Library On My Phone

There are definitely some serious advantages to the system: First, I never have to worry about late fees. When my loan period is over, the book simply is erased from my device (I better hurry up and read Vanished before it vanishes), second, I don’t have to carry a large, heavy physical object about with me. Which is a definite help to my lumbago. Third, I don’t have to go downtown to pick up my held items, instead I get an email when the book I’m interested in is available for checkout, and I can download right from my phone.

As to the bad, well, there are some: In order to download the files, you have to navigate to and through SPL’s non-mobile optimized digital downloads web-system. I know that Apple doesn’t let in-app purchases or downloads happen, but sheesh! I actually found the LastPass app of great help in this instance: it remembers my library card number and PIN, so I don’t have to. Also, be careful which version of the content you click on. If you try to download a kindle book into your iPhone, it won’t work, not even if you have the Kindle app. This can be a problem if you’ve been waiting for, say, Tim Power’s On Stranger Tides for three months and you grab the kindle version. It’s checked out to you, and you can’t return it from the website, only from the application which can’t access the material.  And if you could return the item, you lose your place in line. Fortunately, in this theoretical case, an audiobook of the same novel was available… which proved to be very well done.

Because of the navigation issues, I definitely suggest spending an hour or so getting very familiar with the system prior to picking up holds on popular materials. Once you are familiar with the system, it works quite well, and the selection is surprisingly good. For example, they have 20 year old Tim Powers books in their catalog! This is especially nice if you are a big audiobook person. At around $30 those things can get expensive, fast, SPL’s OverDrive app is a very affordable alternative to Audible, and you don’t have to haul around 10 CDs!

LastPass, The Mobile App Review

For me, it isn’t even about the paranoia.

Sure, that’s a part of it, but mostly it’s because my memory sucks.

Like most of us, I have more online accounts than I have fingers and toes, and they all require a login name and password. For security reasons, these passwords should all be different, but to my shame (and even through my information security classes) I did my level best to keep them all the same.  I just couldn’t remember 20+ different passwords. Worse, I failed. Each site had different requirements for login and password security, which meant that I was juggling five to six password variants: neither secure nor memorable.

LastPass solves all those problems.

The program, which is a cloud storage system linked to your computer through a browser plug-in or mobile app, encrypts and decrypts all information on your device before it is sent to the server side. This means that LastPass never has any of plaintext information, so even if their systems were compromised, your data is still safe, so long as your master password (The Last Password You’ll Ever Need, as they say) remains sufficiently complex.

Okay, that’s LastPass, for those interested in further technical details of the system; I refer you to Steve Gibson’s and Leo Laporte’s excellent “Security Now” show on the subject.

I’ve been a LastPass user for three months, but just picked up the mobile app last week. I had some concerns about it, like “what if I lose my phone?” would my LastPass vault be available to whoever finds it? Or steals it? Also, how much would I actually use it? I don’t do a lot of shopping or other password requiring tasks on my phone. And finally, the Smartphone app requires a “premium” LastPass membership which costs a whopping $12 a year! Not much, but it seems like a lot compared to the sea of free or $0.99 apps out there.

I now have a new personal record for “amount I paid for an app.” I bought two years for $24 bucks, figuring “hey, even if the app sucks… the company rocks and deserves my monetary support.”

So, does the app suck? No. Is it the best thing since sliced bread? Also “no.”

Basically, the LastPass app is simply a lightweight web-browser with the functionality of the LastPass Safari plug-in. Now this does work, I was just hoping for a fuller integration with the other password using applications. After doing some research, I realize that this is “very difficult” (much like cold fusion) due to Apple’s hardware security model and unnecessary (more later), so I can’t really give them too much guff for that. The one thing that could be improved, however, is the instructions. Having some for instance, would be really nice.

After a few days of experimentation, I found that there was indeed a setting to “Logoff on close.” The problem is that this only works when you “close” the app through the app manager (like you do when something crashes). A better option is the Log-off when Idle, which logs you out of your LastPass vault after 15 minutes.

If you are really worried about the passwords held by your phone’s apps, or the data on your phone, there are better solutions. Apple’s iPhone for instance, can be set with a strong unlock code–and to “brick” itself if the code is entered incorrectly ten times in a row (recoverable by the owner with an iTunes backup) and similar systems are available for Android, Symbian, Windows Mobile and Blackberry offerings. Where LastPass mobile really shines, in my opinion, is in the world of mobile websites.

I actually use the LastPass app a LOT. Not to check my email or twitter, but to check my bank balance or MyUW account. Or to access my library accounts, particularly the SPL one–where I download OverDrive audiobooks to my phone a good deal (see next week’s posts for more info on that).

As mobile websites grow in power and use, their security will become more and more important, and services like LastPass will become more central to our mobile experiences.

Hopefully a more secure and less confusing experience.

Square: The Mobile App Review

I was going to do a review of a certain large local software company’s QR code campaign that would have been a soggy glass of MehWine, but I personally prefer to liven my life up with a dash or two of AwesomeSauce. Therefore, when I got the chance to play with Square’s payment processing app at yesterday’s <shamelessPlug> Bone Poets Orchestra live music event </shamelessPlug> I changed my mind.

I was lucky enough to help at the door, and so I got to process about 10-12 credit cards using the application. This was an application I downloaded about five minutes prior to the door opening, and was able to figure out how to operate in less than 15 seconds.

The Square card reader: so easy even a beach rubble can work it!

Just plug the Square Card Reader (and it really IS square) into the serial port masquerading as a headphone jack, tap in the dollar amount to process (and optionally a note designating what the charge was for) and then swipe the card in the direction shown. The customer signs on the iPhone screen with their finger, then decides if they want a receipt via SMS or email. The whole process takes perhaps 60 seconds.ure out in less than 15 seconds.  Yes. Even me.

Oh, and that card reader? They’ll send you one for free if you sign up.

Clean, intuitive and fast. The way mobile should be.

Now, before the square people start cutting me a check or anything, I feel that it should be said that they do not do card processing for free. That would be insane, as there are a number of costs and risks involved in payment processing. The rate they charge, 2.75 percent, is not cheap. MasterCard and Visa are usually around 1.5% to 2.5%, while American Express is, um, more… at least in some cases.

However, for this use case: Low volume/high portability/zero investment… it’s a very nice solution to the problem of on-the-go credit card processing.

TriMet TransitTracker (via SMS*)

I had to travel to Portland this weekend, both in order to get out of town and to do a bit of consulting.

While I was there, I used the TriMet public transit system, because I took the train and don’t feel like (nor can I afford) traveling everywhere by ÜberCar. Google is great for telling us what bus/train/streetcar/ferry/kayak/jitney to take where, but leaves off at telling us when it is actually arriving. Sure, it tells you when it’s scheduled to arrive, but every transit rider from SEA to PDX knows that this has the same relationship with reality as Alchemy does to Chemistry. It would be really great if someone would come up with an app for that.

And here in Seattle, the hard work of my fellow iSchool alumn Brian Ferris and team did give forth the One Bus Away app (and saw that it was good), but no comparable graphical system is available for Portland’s buses, trains and other assorted transit units. There is, however, a system that does a very good job at telling you what you really need to know… “how long am I gonna be stuck at this bus stop until the next one comes by?”

The solution is very simple and works on almost any mobile phone system produced in the last few years. You SMS your stop number to the 27299 short code, and you get a reply within a minute telling you how long you have to wait. The system is called TransitTracker and remains a free service thanks to the ad that you get along with your info. Hey, you weren’t using those 80 characters for anything were you?

Here’s an example. I get off the MAX train and ask myself “Will the #75 bus be here soon or do I have time for (yet another) coffee?” I look at the bus stop which sports well-maintained and prominent signage of the stop number and the TransitTracker short code. I text 10872 to 27299, and one minute later I receive:

"75 Sched@4:28 PM / 75 22min -- 10% off any purchase at Green Bean Books on ALberta! Reply: GBB"

Now this confused me a bit, but a friendly local cleared the matter up for me. It seems that the system gives you the next two arrivals: one before and one after the slash. There was no real-time data for the first bus, so only the scheduled time of arrival (4:28 PM) was given. I skipped coffee and the bus was there five minutes later at 4:30.

The system takes some getting used to, but it does work, at least it does in Portland, where stops are well-maintained even in dodgy neighborhoods. In other cities (no names) who prioritize transit funds differently, the system would not be viable as reading stop numbers through a thick patina of graffiti would be impossible or more trouble than it’s worth. This is good news for the 50% (more in the bus riding demographic) that lack smartphones. It also displays the wide reach that SMS services can bring to your table.

Or your commute.

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*I later learned that the service is also available via TriMet’s mobile website (m.trimet.org). If you have a smartphone about you, you can get the same information, in a more readable form and without the SMS ads.